Life's Big Events

I have been blessed with quite a few groups of friends, but it is no secret that the Grad School Girls have been and always will be my closest inner circle. You may recall reading about our escapades while in Nashville recently- one of many trips and experiences we have shared together.

The six of us met while earning our Master of Education degrees in Higher Education Administration. While we were surrounded by many during that shared experience, we somehow developed a bond with each other that I doubt will ever be broken.

We have beared witness to each other's weddings (with the exception of one, who was married just before we all met), and this weekend we experienced one last wedding together...until we all move on to our second and third marriages later in life.

Kidding.

This time, it was J's turn. She was a gorgeous bride, and we all adore her new hubby. The photo booth at their reception was a huge hit, and we all have been blessed with totally inappropriate, drunken photos to remember the night fondly. A highlight of the evening was our husbands teaming up to get the mothers and aunts into the photo booth (one by one). The middle-aged women swooned over the  cheek-kisses and lap dances they received from our men, while we wondered to ourselves "who the hell married these guys?"

One thing we do very well is provide any party with top-notch entertainment. In fact, now that that the last of the group has been married off, we decided we're going to need to expand the group to include other women whose weddings we may make memorable one day.

Anyhow, I haven't posted in a few days and was trying to decide what to write about this evening when I landed on the topic of, simply, life's big events and the people with whom we share them.

At the wedding, I thought about our table of nine (normally twelve, but one was without husband for the night, and J and her new man were, well, the guests of honor) and how many of life's big events we have shared with one another. We have helped each other through landing our first jobs (we half-joked about possibly needing to live together in cardboard boxes when we thought we'd end up unemplyed post-grad school), promotions, pregnancies (both successful ones producing adorable children and those that were lost), break-ups, engagements, nuptials, marriage struggles, custody battles, sick parents, divorces, deaths, first homes...While we have only been a part of each others' lives for about six years, we have enjoyed the group's support and company throughout perhaps the most formative and life-defining moments of our lives.

The friends with whom we experience life's big moments are tied to us for eternity, and the bonds just grow stronger and stronger with each triumph or struggle. This group, along with others in my life, have proved this to be true. When I have opened up enough to allow others in, life's moments (good or bad) have generally become a few shades richer.

I have had to learn that lesson the hard way. It has taken me a very long time to learn to trust, to lean on, and to place confidence in even the closest of friends for fear of abandonment. I'm not entirely sure where it came from (although Dr. Joe has a field day trying to make sense of it all), but I previously established a pattern in my life of holding people (even those I care deeply about) at an arm's length. I believe it was once for protection; if I did not let people in completely, their betrayals couldn't hurt me as much and it would be easier to walk away if I had to.

There have been several people in my life who have taught me to trust, break down walls, and open myself up. I'm especially thankful to the Grad School Girls for teaching me those lessons, allowing me to truly be myself, and building that fortress of support around me. No other group can bring me out of my shell, prod me just enough to open me up, and relax my tough exterior quite like they can.

They have also allowed me to believe that the truest of friends will not only stand by during life's joyous events, but will stand even closer for the painful ones. And when it's all said and done, they'll be waiting with a glass of wine (or a Jello shot or Buttery Nipple) to either celebrate or ease the pain...whichever life's big events call for.