I follow the ED Bites blog regularly, written by Carrie, a young woman recovering from anorexia (you can find her blog in my list). I admire her strength and honesty in recovery, and she is a phenomenal writer as well.
Her most recent post really resonated with me for a number of reasons. In her post, she sounds off about the ignorant comments posted on the web in response to an article about insurance coverage for bulimia. The comments struck a nerve with me too, and reminded me all too well of the misconceptions that are out there about eating disorders and those who suffer from them.
While the E! reality show "What's Eating You?" was difficult and painful for me to watch, I appreciate the accurate and raw portrayal of the girls' struggles. I'm hoping that the stories they follow will help change some of the ignorant minds that exist out there. Those who struggle with eating disorders are not the attention-seeking, shallow, body-obsessed brats who expect "privileges" such as, god forbid, insurance companies covering the treatement they need (Gasp! What a concept). It is an awful, torturous disorder that affects the body and mind in ways most people cannot even imagine, and it is truly a difficult cycle to break without professional and medical help. Sadly, even those who receive the best care and work like hell to overcome it will still relapse many, many times. And, contrary to popular belief (evident by some of the comments Carrie refers to), we do not WANT to be this way. Who would? Trust me...if I could find my own way out and not "drain the nation's medical insurance system", I would.
I, of course, know that not everyone feels this way, and individuals are certainly entitled to their own opinions. So, like Carrie, I am not sure why these comments get under my skin. Perhaps it is the fact that I have struggled to get the care I need, thanks to insurance red tape. So I can comiserate with the family desperately seeking coverage for their daughter's bulimia treatment- it's an uphill battle, and unfortunately, the "they did it to themselves" mentality is more pervasive than one may think.
When I was released from a short hospital stay back in July, I was referred to an intensive outpatient program. I was on optimistically on board, had my supervisor's approval, and was ready and willing to give it a go. I thought it was the best case scenario to get me the help I needed. Until we saw the sticker price: $6,500 (not yet covered by insurance...but they would "reimburse" if coverage was approved at a later date...a bit of a gamble), not including the recommended outside work with my existing recovery team (read: additional copays, prescriptions, and office visit fees). Even for two fairly well-off young professionals, that price was a hefty one for The Mr. and I, especially not knowing if that investment would be worth it in the end or produce long-term success. Given the price and my stubborn "I can do anything I put my mind to!" mentality, I decided to walk away from that opportunity and continue the makeshift treatment program I had already begun to develop with my existing team. But I do often wonder if that program would have been the magic bullet that put an end to this pain and set me on a quicker road to recovery.
When I had been hospitalized in July, I was on a general medical floor to restore some weight, have tests done, and receive nourishment in the form of Ensure and IV. While there, I made some significant progress with a dietitian and actually wanted to stay for another day or two (which was Dr. K's intent as well). However, almost immediately after I had become stable, I was released for insurance reasons. While I desperately needed to be there at the time and was not anywhere close to "medically stable", it was time to go or the insurance company would balk. And so I was kicked back out to the care of my team, who had anticipated and ordered a three-day stay to get me back on track.
In the My Story page on my blog, I refer to anorexia as the perfectionist's disorder; and it truly is. Eating disordered individuals do tend to be high-achieving, driven, perfection-seeking people. They are often highly educated, professional, and have strong work ethic. Think about it...it takes a significant amount of drive to continue to starve, restrict, overtrain, and purge (not to mention hide it all while trying to keep up an image of togetherness) all because of the pursuit of a distorted goal. Is it disordered? Absolutely! But to imply that those who suffer from eating disorders do not want to help themselves, are a drain on the system, or have simply "done it to themselves" couldn't be further from the truth. It is a sign of true ignorance of the disorder to say so.
Thanks to Carrie for commenting on this topic. It inspired my rant today.
And my favorite line from her post: "I've gotten used to a lot of the misconceptions about eating disorders ("Just eat a sandwich!" As if that hadn't occurred to me...)."
So true...like I haven't heard that one before!
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